Namaste,
I am back and it has been 3 years since the last time I wrote. A lot of things have happened since my last post:
- Osama Bin Laden was executed
- The Dow hit an all time high of 14,763
- India won the Cricket World Cup after 28 years
However, Arsenal still haven't won a trophy which is an indication that some things do not change with time!! Some of the reasons for my hiatus are: lethargy, overburdened by work and moving to a new country. However, I am back, and hopefully I'll be more frequent with my posts.
May 07, 2011 was the day I left Mumbai, my home since 1991, for the United States of America. I left India out of desperation rather than seeking out opportunities. I was defeated time and time again by the Indian Education system which champions reservation over equality. The system was successful at convincing me that I was 'just above average'.
Frustrated with the lack of any real progress professionally and emotionally, I decided to go with the herd and look at opportunities abroad. I still remember the day when I stood in front of the mirror reminiscing about all the times I said the following to my friends:
- Apna Desh, Apna Desh hota hai. Doosre country mein toh hum hamesha 2nd grade citizens hi rahenge
- Tujhe sirf paisa important hai kya?
- Apne country ka education system mein koi kharabi nahi hai
- Bina Koshish kiye hi haar maan gaya
And there I was; ready to tread upon the same path which I lectured my friends so vehemently against treading upon. Looking at myself in the mirror, all I could see was - "Hypocrite". I consoled my conscience by telling myself and to countless others - "I'll finish my education, pay off my loans and come back to India. This is where I belong."
Even before I stepped into my first class at Carnegie Mellon, I'd been convinced by a few 'helpful' fellow Indians that I will be part of a rat race to procure a job, just like in India. However, by the end of the lecture it became very apparent that education in the US is very different from India in the following ways:
- The Professor knows what he/she is talking about and is an expert on the subject
- Plagiarism is not tolerated
- I will have to toil to get my assignments done on time and no amount of rote learning will help me clear the course
After 4 years of Engineering and 3.5 years of working with an Indian IT service firm, one tends to take things for granted. This was a reality check. Over the next year, I worked day and night at coursework, research assistant-ship, teaching assistant-ship and everyday chores while looking for a full time job. It was really difficult during the initial few days!! However, with time, I started enjoying my busy life. For the first time I was learning for the sake of learning without the ulterior motive of securing marks. I wasn't derided for asking questions, instead appreciated for it. My relationship with my professors was that of mutual admiration as opposed to an ego clash. I was up for 20 hours a day and I was loving every second of it!! A feeling I'd never had in a long long time.
Today, when I think about my journey so far in this alien country, I realize how ignorant and self-obsessed I was back in India. How wrong I was to admonish my friends and countless others as being ungrateful and betraying their country. I am healthy, progressing professionally and emotionally and the happiest I've been in over a decade. I have more respect for my friends and family who are in India as life there is so much more tougher than life here.
Do I feel like a 2nd grade citizen? Answer: No
Do I feel that the education system in my country is better? Answer: Mostly No
Do I feel that I've betrayed my country in any way? No
Do I feel that I'm here just for the sake of earning money? No
Do I want to give up all this and go back to India? Answer: No
And that is the reality of the day.
But life is uncertain and in that uncertainty lies the beauty of it all. Things might take a turn for the worse and I might have to return 'home' tomorrow. I will not be angry or mull over it. I'll be delighted that I got this opportunity to do what I did over the last 2 years and look back fondly upon the relationships I formed here.
However, for now, I am happy to have found a home away from home in the land of opportunities.
Till next time...
